Tattoos and Blimps

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I thought it would be fun to visit the local Tattoo Parlor and check out the 'Tats'. They told me the guy that does all of the really good artwork was out with some 'Blimp'.... I just figured that 'Blimp' was the same as 'Bimbo'.

So I headed over to Main Beach and looked around. Lots of Bimbos but not with my Tat Artist.

Then I looked up.....

Tunnel to Mexico

The other day, J.P. noticed a hole in his floor. He widened it and broke through and a Mexican guy yelled. He realized he had just found another one of those really long tunnels from Mexico.

He called his friend 'Dwight' to help him seal the tunnel back up. Dwight is using a special tool that permanently seals the opening.

I went by today and all you can see is a patch of linoleum. Good job J.P.!

MTV - Rock House and Email

I opened my email and it was from the editor of the paper asking me to attend a fund raiser at the 'Rock House' by the Aliso Pier. The cast of local kids that are on the MTV program about Laguna Beach were supposed to be there, along with the mayor. I thought that would be fun and quickly responded.... "Count on Me".

The response I got back was strange.... why was I responding to last weeks assignment??? Turned out there must have been an email glitch and it took one week for the email to travel about 1/2 a mile.

B U M M E R !

Food - Doctors and Cialis

Once again it was time for a little Saturday Night dining with friends. As usual, Janet had worked all day and the day and night prior preparing some outstanding dishes. She had gone to Hi Time and made sure the wines selected matched each dish. Eventually we would have Chanpagne and 4 wines including a desert wine followed by an Armagnac.

We had invited the Town Doctor (Dr Bryan Abernathy.) and his wife Claudia. The other couple we invited were fairly new to town.They were only known to us as Mr. Cialis and Miss St. Louis.

I asked the Dr and Mr. Cialis if they ever received a 911 emergency call for someone who had taken Cialis and still was erect after 4 hours... Of course I am not sure who would call for that situation as an emergency.... I guess it would have to be the wife!

Another Friday Night in Laguna

Ocean Avenue in downtown Laguna is the place to be after midnight if you are young and insane. This guy got hit with a beer bottle...or two. There are always big crowds with blairing music at the 3 hot spots on this street. The Ocean Avenue Brewery, Hennesseys and the Marine Room. Lots of stories for these three.

If you need a cab or a cop.... no problem! There are many around almost all of the time. Just a reminder.... The public bathrooms are locked after dark and it is an offense to pee in the bushes or anyplace else in the open.

If you are nuts enough to drive out from one of these places.... here is a tip. Make sure you have a front license plate; no tinted windshield or tinted front windows....and all lights should be working. Better yet. Take a cab and come back for your car in the morning.

Slide Time

I told jean Claude that if he was to get any more treats he had to go down the slide by 11:00.

He ignored me as usual. I know what he's thinking. "I still have 2 minutes.... I'll make him sweat!"

Umbrella Lady

One thing about Laguna Beach..... we definitely have our colorful people. One of these colorful locals I refer to as the "Umbrella Lady". She wears very 'interesting' clothing and usually has an umbrella.

Sometimes when I am having my semi annual haircut at Wallys downtown, she will wander in and chit chat with the barber and then wander back out.

Her outfit today was covered with 'Big Name Buttons'. I think one of them says "I like Ike!"

Formal Invitation

It is that time of year again when the girls (soon to be women) at Laguna Beach High School ask the guys out to the dance.

I guess Edgar takes this road home from school. Or maybe it's the road to his 'other' girl friend.

Edgar must not have a Blackberry...

Edgar..... isn't that the fat guy on 24?

Laguna Colors

One thing Laguna Beach prides itself on is the Design and Review Board. They make certain that any improvements are in the keeping of the local interests. No mansions are welcome here!

Color is very important. So important, that a few years ago a house was rejected because it was painted all white.... and the white was.... well too white!

This is the result they are seeking. Not a mansion..... and certainly no bright whites here!

Mussles, Togas and JP

Tomorrow is Janets birthday. J.P. decided to celebrate her birthday by bringing over about 20 pounds of mussles.. today .. yes... 20 pounds. As I write this I am thinking I better make a pit stop or I will not be able to get down the desert which is pear clafouti... another one of my favorites.

JP brought over some duck foie gras for starters.... along with some wine. Janet's daughter Nadine showed up to help us get down all of the food. She wore a toga top so we couldn't tell how much her tummy swelled.

After I placed my frites on top of the mussles.... J.P. informed me that I must be from Belgium, because that is what they do. I was bummed! I know that is the equivalent of being called a Polack in this country. So much for PC.

Passing the Clean Test

Phil and Blair asked us over to put a little "Hair on the Dog". I didn't think they had a dog.... we took Jean Claude in case they wanted their dog to have company.

We do of course have an understanding that we only will visit them if they can pass the 'Clean Test', which we also refer to as the 'White Glove Test'.

As is customary, they left a pair of fresh clean white gloves at the entrance way.

Of course they passed the test and we proceeded to put some 'Hair on the Dog'. Since they didn't have a dog, we appointed Jean Claude to be the receiver of the hair. When we left, Jean Claude definitely looked like he had more hair..... lots more hair!

Laguna Beach Trailer Trash

Every town seems to have a trailer park.... even Laguna Beach. Entering Town from the North along the Coast Highway is the El Moro Trailer park... although I always called it the Crytsal Cove Trailer Park.... sounds nicer. These trailers sit on the beach with an incredible view.

On the cliff above them is the home once owned by the Irvine family.... watching guard for .... I don't know.... maybe tornadoes. Tornadoes always seem to be drawn to trailer parks. However, I think the only thing drawn to this trailer park are wealthy lawyers..... but that is just a guess.

I think this whole thing might be going away soon... but that is what I was told years ago.

What a great place to have a trailer and sit on the porch drinking a cool brew. Oops.... make that a Lemon Drop Martini!

Penguin not Marching!

This Penquin has not moved for years and years. He (or she... I cannot tell) has been standing in front of the Penguin Cafe south of Thalia Street on the Coast Hwy for as long as I can remember.... not a great number..... my memory only goes back a day or so and only for certain things.

This is one of those places that are really hard to find. It is like a time warp. Not a place for those Californias looking for 'Healthy... Good for the Heart' food. But, it is definitely great for the soul! Great Breakfasts with background oldies music blaring and waitresses from the past.... well.. it just seems that way.... lots of eggs and greasy things that are yummy and coffee in all kinds of cups. Not sure if they have 2 of the same.

This is a place where the locals go and those out of towners from the mid west missing the local diner.

Killer Art - Laguna Beach

My assignment was to find some unusual art in Laguna. This up and comer was spotted in front of City Hall..... well actually, the Police Department performing what I call News Art. I asked him what this was about and after giving me all of his background info including various conspiracy theories and offers to send me confirming DVD's on the subject, he informed me that his friend had recently died in the jail.

This was in fact the case. He claimed the police did it intentionally. My unofficial sources tell me the prisoner had died as a result of his stomach acid eating a hole in a plastic bag found in his stomach containing certain drugs.

I guess time will tell.... I guess.

Crystal Cove Shopping Center - The DMZ

On a long strech between Laguna Beach and Newport Beach (actually Corona Del Mar) ... is a place known as the Crystal Cove Shopping Center. This is the place where Laguna Beach and
Newport Beach wannabees mix among the crowd trying to get a sense of one another. It is considered to be the DMZ..... the safe zone.... where no one sneers at one another.... or tries not to be caught sneering

The average Lagunatic never wants to be found in Newport Beach where the "Plastic People and Fake Boobs" are.... and the Newport Beach crowd does not want to be found in Laguna where the "Hippies and Timothy Leary lovers" are..... of course there are cerain exceptions to these rules. You can actually find some plastic boobs.... but they are braless.

The DMZ is a somewhat safe place to be. I have sent my undercover team in to scout things out. You have got to admit.... it is hard to tell where these two come from.

South of the Border

You can go South of the Border (Crown Valley) and experience the taste and feel of Mexico. About 10 minutes south on Coast Hwy or PCH or Hwy 1 or whatever it is called depending on where you are...... in San Juan Capistrano, is a neato place called Olemendes. It is across the street from Hole in the Wall Beach..... or maybe it is called Hole in the Fence Beach..... whatever.. and aside from having fairly authentic Mexican Food, it is quite a feast on the eyes. There are at least half a dozen Christs on the Cross in larger than life size.... lots of scary skeletons and all sorts of colorful things.

The kids love it unless they are young and might be scared. I only pee'ed a little in my pants but finally settled in. After all, they aren't real..... I think.

Fun place..

Shucks! Another Eating Fest

Once again Gravlax Phil and wife Blair presented another eating orgy at their villa. Oysters were everywhere and in all styles. My favorites are the Oyster Rockefellers..... but that is probbably because I am a Republican.

Lots of wine and Salmon and cheeses. J.P. brought clams and made a special dish.. Clams Casino. After gorging ourselves, we went inside and sat down to Salmon, special green beans that are not like any you have ever eaten... and Corn Pie. This was followed by melted smelly cheese and then great desert and coffee. Excuse the belch.

We sat at a table with Karla and Greg (her hubby who we found out is also quite the sex guy) and Sweety, wife of Marcus. Lots of laughs and an over all great event.

Thanks to all of Phils family, especially his son and son-in-law (Chico and Ted ) and their wives Paulette and Alice Maye.

Shoe Check

One of the more exciting moments of the Friday night patrol is when we do 'Shoe checks'. A really pointy shoe can be a safety hazard when rapidly changing from the gas pedal to the break pedal and visa versa.

The state publishes a guide and requires special testing by each officer, so they can precisely tell if the angle of the point is too great.

In this case the shoe was not a hazard.

Friday Night Patrol

It has been a month since I have been out on my weekly Friday Night patrol with Laguna Beach PD. I have really missed it and hope there will be some action tonight. I am supposed to also get some pics for a new/revised brochure on the PD.

Stay tuned for new photos.... if there is some action.

Aliso Pier

Actually, we use to have a pier at Aliso Beach. They took it down a few years ago. Probably got eroded from the sewage that spills on that beach when it rains.

They have a protrusion form the bathroom that just goes out over the sand.... but you can make believe you are on the pier... or looking at someone on the pier.

This couple is looking down at the beach below watching some tourist who fell asleep get washed over by a rogue wave.

Greeter Twin Held Captive

The twin brother (TOG) of the world famous Laguna Beach Greeter has been spotted as a captive in the old area known as the Pottery Shack. He is known there as prisoner 'X' and is being held for possible terrorist ties. I have been told by unamed sources that he is unable to escape because they have removed all of his clothes from the waste down.

Email me if you have not figured out what TOG stands for.

Pepper Tree Lane - Chocolate!!!!

My assignment today was to shoot an ad for the chocolate store at Pepper Tree Lane which is sort of in an alley way with an entrance on Coast Hwy opposite the Laguna Beach Hotel. As usual, Betty was there running the place. She is another regular at the Coffee Nazi. This is a must stop when you are in Laguna.

It was really difficult not checking out the samples.

Now that Valentines day is getting close I say..... Eat a Heart out!

Laguna Beach Greeter... Dead?

For years I would wave to the Laguna Beach Greeter on the corner of Forest and the Highway. I had spoken to him a few years ago when he told me and others we were all perfect. It has been a while since I spoke with him, but I always waved back. That was until today.

He seemed so stuck in his ways....

Missing - Laguna Beach Pier

There is one thing that I kind of miss in Laguna Beach and that is a pier. I mosied on south to San Clemente Pier, which is a really neat place to spend a Sunday afternoon. It still has that old California feel to it. You walk across the train tracks to the beach and pier. Lots of surfers and boarders and a couple of good restaurants to eat at and a nice long pier to walk on.

I thought I had spotted Superman looking for criminal activity and then realized the cape was missing the letter 'S' so I guess it must have been one of the other Super heroes.

Judge J and The Nazi brew

Judge J is one of the regulars at JP's. You can see him there most mornings wearing his subtle JP baseball cap (I think it may be on fire). Actually JP has a neat collection of caps (most without flames) that are a big hit and fun when you come across someone else wearing the headgear in another country.

Judge J has an incredible collection of jokes and a pretty damn good delivery. He loves the Nazi Brew but did learn his lesson. One day he actually consumed 5 cups of the hyper brew and told me he had the shakes so bad he almost went to Hoag Hospital emergecy.

That is probably why JP doesn't drink the stuff.

Heisler Park Homocide?

Now for the serious side of things..... I was shaving when the phone rang informing me of a possible homocide at Heisler Park. I rearranged my morning and grabbed my camera equipment, scanner and Poodle and headed back across the border to Laguna Beach.

It seems there was a body, face down on the rocks just south of the Lawn Bowling area at Heisler park. I got some coffee for some of my cop friends and then proceeded to an area (approved for the press) to get some shots of the the event just when the Coroner arrived.

Hard to say how they can decide if it was an accident or not. I do understand the victiom was a male with his pants pulled down. Your guess is as good as mine. It was a warm evening prior and word around was there was a big bash held by the local drunks. That area is frequented by many guys from all over the region looking for dates and based on my latest site meter search results for this blog, there seems to be lots of interest in 'Laguna Beach Secret Cove'..... so maybe this guy had a date and the date got pissed off?????

Laguna Single Food Taster

Not every town has a food taster that goes around and rates your meal. This is something that has gotten really popular with the Laguna Beach up and comers.... when they want to make sure that what they are cooking and serving meets the high standards, as set by Louis Marrow, seen here tasting a French Dish that took half the day to prepare.

Louis is very popular, especially among the single gals since he is one of the few single straight guys in Laguna. He told me he always tries a sample 'lick' before the final taste.

He can occassionaly be found at the Coffee Nazi discussing foody issues with JP.

Coffee and Chess

Okay..... so when I am desparate for a cup of coffee, I go to the local coffee pub in Dana Point. This is just south of the border (Crown Valley) from Laguna Beach. It's called J.C. Beans. I have even run into the local Doctor from Laguna Beach. He stops there with his surfer buddies (old surfer guys) on the way back from Tressles. The coffee is okay..... the place is kind of neat. It has a library and sitting area which makes it cozzy in winter.

Today while I was fixing my coffee with the added goodies... some guy went to a draw and pulled something out. It turned out to be chess pieces. I thought chess was only played at Main Beach by the kiddie sandbox.

My real question is...... how come they are drinking soda pop and not coffee?

Laguna Beach Weatherman

Dennis McTighe is the local weatherman for Laguna Beach.... actually for the local rag.... known as the "Indy" or Laguna Beach Independent Newspaper. Dennis has a weekly column called "Weather- or Not" which makes for interesting reading and a must read if you are a surfer dude.

I ran into Dennis today taking in the weather for his next report.

You can find him around Taco Loco or the cafe at Thalia Street where the surfers hang out.

Coffee Nazi and Undercover

One reason I dislike this time of year is that the Coffee Nazi is closed. That means I have to drive around town incognito, so none of the regulars spots me at someplace as common as Starbucks.

I know it's around here somewhere......

This is so embarrassing!

New Years Ball

Seems like you just can't drop in to the local watering hole on New Years Eve to have a drink with the locals and bring in the New Year. Every place requires a reservation and a rather large minimum. So we decided to invade one of our neighbors who was in the same dilema. We also decided we would celebrate it at 9PM by wathcing the New York event. However, just when the ball started to drop, the local news broke in for a flash flood warning so we missed the moment.

We had a tough time finding noise makers that last minute. The pic above shows one we found that used to belong to some Indian in New Guinea. I wasn't sure if it was just the gord or the real thing. If it was the real thing....he sure had big balls!.... or ball.